Dear Sir,

On behalf of my members I should like to protest at the continued use of coarse asides and scandalous innuendo regarding the implied liaison between certain folk and various mammalian quadrupeds of an ovine persuasion. These are completely and utterly false yet I have heard stories from the shower rooms of covert glances at one's fellow officers' pubic hair in order to ascertain whether or not a particularly lush growth could be ascribed to regular doses of lanolin!

Yours Faithfully,

B.A.A. Lamb