Dear Sir,

I would like to complain, in the strongest possible terms, at the so-called new-style Personal Glassware Gazette. My husband and I were shocked and dismayed at the foul and lavatorial nature of our profession's once upright organ. Indeed, my poor spouse - who is of a frail and delicate nature - was near to tears. At one point he came close, in his emotional state, to tearing free from his ever present intravenous glucose drip. I urge you to confine the new editor's excessive ejaculations!

Yours Faithfully,

Loobie Loom.